So this is my first blog. First time for everything hey! Now I warn you, I have limited adult conversations on a daily basis. Maybe my Nan if she is in. That counts right? For a twenty five year old it may not be healthy and at times I question whether I have lost my sanity. I have very little spare time, few friends and I don’t get out much. Thus starting this. Almost an escape for an hour to actually use my nursery rhyme numbed brain cells.

You see, I am a mom of two (three and one), happily married (most of the time) and I work night shifts in a pub (the late nights kill me). Nothing spectacular about my life but I like it. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Well, maybe change where we live (village, somewhere miles away from your neighbors) and possibly that every once in a while, I could look presentable and not dragged through a hedge backwards!

Three and a half years ago our lives changed forever. First time mom, all excited. Never once nervous which I found, is unusual for a first timer. We were nine months pregnant, arranging a wedding and finding a house with a garden. It was hectic. No where near as hectic as that little girl would make surviving daily life on minimum three hours sleep. However, we made it, almost. Eighteen months later, bundle number two arrived. A boy. Slept through from the word go, did not last long; tempted fate. Nicknames, Madam and Buster. Family complete. One of each.

Now I am sat on the sofa, laptop on while my husband attempts to get that 2nd bundle of joy to sleep, third time lucky. How is it people so tiny can make you want to pull your hair out due to lack of twenty winks. Don’t get me wrong, I would go a thousand nights without sleep to make sure they were safe but after a weekend of stomach bugs, I, I mean we, need to sleep. We sit here every night when i’m not at work waiting for either one of them to wake so we can go to bed once they are settled, usually after 11pm. Every once in a while, we get lucky if they sleep through. On those blue moon occasions they even sleep past 6.30am! Yes, lack of sleep does have a strain on our relationship but to be honest, he’s the macaroni to my cheese. There has been many an early morning hour where, before we pass out from sheer exhaustion, we tell each other ‘I couldn’t do this alone’. Then we roll over and become the un-dead.

I once read that for the first two years of your child’s life, you feel like your in a permanent state of being hung-over due to lack of sleep. They lied. Its been almost four years yet I still walk about on autopilot.  To everyone else I must look insane and homeless.

Attempt number three was a fail.

I have a friend with a boy around the same age as my two. We have been best friends since nursery. It has got to the point where we don’t really talk anymore, we just send tired/crazy mom memes to one another. We don’t need to speak to feel each others pain. Her little one does not sleep either.

cat

 

And now it’s silent. That dreaded light on the baby monitor is still but the question is how long for? This is where i run to bed and embrace my pillow because it is sometimes the only material item i have in this house to call my own. Short and sharp exit.

As my little girl says ‘See you later alligator!’

Advertisements